| Twice Blessed |
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TWICE BLESSED by Marilyn Anderson You just got the news: You're about to do "the parent thing" and you are elated. Typically, your faithful canine friend reacts to your excitement with wagging tail and an expression that says "If you're happy, I'm happy; whatever pleases you pleases me too!" And then it hits you. Will your dog feel this way when the baby comes? Will he resent having to share you with someone else? You have to admit, he's always been your "baby". A little spoiled? Maybe. Indulged? Pampered? Well…at the very least he's always been included in just about every aspect of your life up until now, and most certainly loved beyond measure. You sit down on the floor next to him and have a heart-to-heart talk, telling him the reason for your happiness and promising that nothing will ever change your feelings for him. Not unexpectedly, his wet kiss assures you that he will always feel the same way about you, too. A good beginning indeed--but now you must back it up with physical, mental, and emotional preparation. Fortunately you have time. Whether several months or just a few weeks, there is time for everyone in the home, including your dog, to get ready for the new baby. If your dog is gentle and good-natured with kids who have been guests in your home, this is a big plus. If he hasn't been exposed to children, take him places where he can get to know some. Invite friends with children to visit your home. If he already has a problem dealing with children, you will need the help of a qualified canine behaviorist. Don't expect the worst, but do be honest. If you have a dominant dog who ignores rules, resents discipline, or has shown aggression, face up to it and get help NOW-not after your baby is born. If your dog has not already been altered, do it now. If you dog has had obedience training, spend time every day "boning up" on commands. You'll need a reliable Sit, Down, Stay, No Jump, Off, Leave It, Drop It, Settle, Gentle, and Come. If he hasn't had formal training, you should be able to find a class that fits even your busy schedule. As you make daily practice an enjoyable shared experience, you'll see your dog's self-control, confidence, reliability, and pride blossom. The positive results of training go beyond your dog's renewed trust in your leadership. It will also be the beginning of good times and companionship he will be able to share with you and your baby because his manners are so good! Get a doll that makes the sound of a crying baby, and wheel "baby" around in a carriage or stroller. Allow your dog to help as you prepare baby's room. Let him sniff, explore, and hang around as you assemble the crib and decorate, etc. Use baby lotions and powders. When you fuss over visiting babies, praise him sincerely for his good behavior. The day before "homecoming", have Dad bring home an unwashed article of the baby's clothing and allow your dog to "check it out". On the big day everyone will be excited, including your dog. So that the new Mom can have both arms free to hug her dog and greet him warmly, have someone else carry the baby into the house. Let the dog sniff some of the baby's belongings (a scent he will now recognize). Request a Sit and praise him for it. As tactfully as possible, send the well-wishers home so that Mom, Dad, baby, and dog can quietly let his new experience sink in. One parent holds the baby while the other pets the dog and encourages him to "say hello" to the strange new creature. Don't worry about a lick or two. A dog kiss here is a sign of affection and probably no more germ-laden than all the kissing and fondling of relatives and friends. Your dog will take his cues from your actions, behaviors, and routines. With a new baby, time will be at a premium, so you'll be very glad you prepared your dog in advance for some changes in his routine. A pleasant experience you can all share is to feed baby and dog in the same room at the same time. Whenever you feed, talk, or sing to the baby, catch your dog's eye and smile at him so he'll feel included. He'll also appreciate a special treat once in a while for lying calmly in the baby's presence. Although some parents feel they should keep baby and dog apart during the first weeks, this is counterproductive. From the dog's perspective he's either getting a different kind of attention from you, or the baby is keeping him from the attention he used to get. It's better to bring them together right from the start. You want your dog to associate the baby with pleasant things, happy times, and praise for good behavior. The dog who receives MORE ATTENTION WHEN BABY IS NEAR and LESS ATTENTION WHEN BABY IS NOT NEAR will anticipate the baby's presence. In effect, he will realize that THE NICEST THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM WHENEVER THE BABY IS AROUND. Take your dog along whenever you take baby out in her carriage or stroller. This has many side benefits for all of you: fresh air, exercise, relaxation, and companionship. He'll beam with pride from this privilege. When things have been going well, parents may be tempted to relax the rules. But before losing control of those rules, this is the time to discourage your dog from begging, gobbling up spilled food, and licking baby's fingers or face of baby's lunch. It is not cute when a dog follows a child around in the hope she'll drop something. Do not reward begging by feeding your dog from the table. Discourage any signs of possessiveness, such as guarding food, toys, bones, etc. Make sure he will DROP IT on command and will allow you to remove objects from his mouth. Reinforce the gentle side of his nature by playing non-competitive games with him. He'll be tested soon enough when baby becomes a toddler, when suddenly this contained little creature is loose, crawling around at his eye level, flailing her arms, grabbing his fur, ears, and tail, and stumbling awkwardly. Around a toddler, your dog needs your understanding and protection. Baby- proof and dog-proof your home: dog bowls out of her reach, baby dishes out of his. Even though your wonderfully trained, wonderfully prepared dog has displayed only patience and gentleness with your child, he cannot be a babysitter. You've heard it before, but it bears repeating: NEVER LEAVE A DOG AND CHILD ALONE OR WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. In truth, your dog is probably hoping that you never will leave him alone with this unpredictable creature! A child's innocent gesture can cause pain to a dog, and even a dog's friendly gesture could harm a child. Continue your positive course of action. As your baby grows, she'll need your good examples on treating animals gently, with kindness and respect. The relationship you recall from your own childhood can become a reality for your child and dog. The unconditional love that a dog offers a child is boundless and can have long-lasting effects on her self-esteem and sense of responsibility. Did you enjoy this article? Please bookmark it onto:               |
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